I really must share my story. God is truly amazing. It all started off when I started feeling funny and I convinced my husband to bring home a pregnancy test. Reluctantly he brought one, of course “we were done with babies”…so he was convinced. It was late in the afternoon when I did the test but left it in the bathroom and we went to the kitchen. We forgot all about the test as we chatted, then after about 30 minutes I remembered. Coming back to the kitchen I walked to my hubby saying, “hello daddy of 3” . Of course, I wasn’t immediately thrilled, as I shelfishingly thought of the weight gain and aches and pains that normally came with all my previous pregnancies. Now the real fun was in my hubby’s response …a mmmmh that followed with him walking to the fridge and taking an apple only to give it 1 bite and put it down. Then he bit into a piece of bread, put it down again… walked to the water bottle, filled a glass only to take a sip… with that he said… “suddenly in full”…father of 3…well I have to wake up and work hard…oh my God… Well it’s a blessing Ethol. We should thank God… “
Those are some of the remarks I remember for he had much to say…
The best thing that he said to me was, “Ethol, this time never will I allow you to go to a public hospital again. No matter how expensive it will be, I would rather go hungry than let you go through what you went through before.” With that our journey to find a private midwifery practice began. It was by God’s grace that we ended up finding this awesome place – Midwives Exclusive. I really must say, on arrival at the Birth house for the first time I quickly got paranoid. The staff were all Whites and we were having a mini seminar so to speak, for first time clients who seemed to be all Whites…again. I really started to feel like we had wasted our time because in my previous encounters and experiences whites preferred, and treated fellow whites better than they did black people. But, I really was in for a real surprise. As the briefing went along, I noticed the atmosphere was very different, suddenly I didn’t feel black. I was just a normal human being. When we got back to the reception area again, Bernadette Brits’ awesome smile was greeting me and welcoming me for the second time. And I was totally convinced. These white folks are genuinely awesome. There and then, I knew I had found a home where I would welcome my boy into this world.
This was when I finally felt at ease, no longer fearful to give birth again. I could breathe easily and start to enjoy the remaining months of my pregnancy because I didn’t have to give birth at Evander anymore. The birth of my first born was not much of a nightmare, not because it was better, but because when it’s your first-time experience you just have nothing to compare to. I was just thankful to have a healthy baby girl. I remember one member of staff at the maternity ward who lashed out at me, telling me to go lie down and stop walking the passage before I “drop the baby out with my walking” when I was in labor. Confused, I remember looking at her and thinking to myself, surely babies don’t just drop out of the tummy without me knowing… Thank God, I didn’t listen to her because my baby ended up coming sooner. Apart from this crazy woman who screamed at me, I remember how I ended up almost in tears, not because of the labor pains but because of a gross misconception. Whoever, brought about the belief that every woman in labor must pull her hair and scream when baby is about to come, really messed up things for some of us who prefers to be calm and composed.
So, when I finally felt that baby was coming, I told my hubby that I was getting on the bed and then pushed the baby out. Now I was told to walk around the bed as I was fully dilated but baby still way up to start pushing. So, my hubby told the Sisters at the desk and one came to “see” me. Just a look at my composed face convinced her that it wasn’t time yet and she left. Confused I kept calm thinking maybe I didn’t know what I’m feeling. But what I felt, led me to the bed and I told my hubby I’m pushing this baby out. Afraid for me and baby, hubby screamed – “Ethol don’t!” By then another Sister came to check on me an again, looking at my composed face, she exclaimed, ” a woman ready to push a baby out does not look and behave like that”. Thank God, I had some amazing ladies from our Church Lighthouse who were interceding for us. I must say, thank God for Christ, that when people are in Christ, being White or Black is unimportant – for the love that Christ gives us for one another knows no skin color.
So, the Sister decided to do a real check on me and to her surprise baby was already crowning. What was frustrating, is that she wasn’t even dressed up to receive the baby – she just managed to get the gloves and baby was already coming, with the assistant nurse nowhere to be found much to the frustration of this Sister attending to me. With severe tearing and an episiotomy my precious Jada arrived. Then 2 years down the line there I was again. This time around my calm composure during labor pains didn’t backfire. But the real horror was after my boy was born and I was in the recovery room. I remember that after being commanded to go and bath no more than 20 minutes after giving birth, I had to leave my son unattended next to my bed as hubby had been already told to leave. I wobbled to the bathroom wondering how I was going to take this bath with a drip on my right hand and to make matters worse I had to do this in a bath tub . God is truly faithful, somehow, He saw me through what I had to call a bath. Coming back to the bed thinking I would finally rest, I realized unfortunately I had messed the floor all the way from the bathroom to the bed as I was bleeding profusely. To my horror, the cleaner told me to get off my bed and CLEAN UP! So, I did all the way to the bathroom still with a drip on. When I thought I was done, turning back I realized I was still bleeding and messing the floor to the bathroom as I cleaned. So backpaddling I managed to get the floor cleaned. Fast-forwarding, one nurse noticed the bleeding and got the sister that had delivered my baby. All I remember is when she came over and pressed my stomach I got such pain I passed out. I came to and then saw about 3 or 4 people around my bed with one holding about 4 drips and then I passed out again. When I came around later, I was by myself. Again, my faithful Lighthouse Church prayer warriors were on guard. God saw us through it all.
This was the reason why my hubby had vowed never to get me to deliver our third baby there again.
Now back to Midwives Exclusive, I had the privilege of having the head midwife Heather Pieterse as my midwife. What an amazing, loving woman. Kind and very patient. Against many people’s doubts and advice not to give birth so far from home, she never doubted or got worried that we would have to drive one day in labor all the way from Secunda to Pretoria. Now, I must say, God always takes you to a greener pasture experience and always provides you with someone to make that experience a reality. For me that person was this lady, Heather Pieterse. Now I mustn’t be biased, not all my consultations were with Heather alone, all the other midwives that attended to me and the other staff members were absolutely amazing, kind and very professional. I really thank God for all of you.
Fast forward to the day Jared-Michael came, I had recently, prior to this day, I had come across amazing teaching on Supernatural Childbirth. Birthing with labor, without pain. But supernaturally with God’s Grace and no pain. I must testify that although this is one Biblical subject not fully explored by many, it is as real as is our Lord Jesus is alive. I must say that I experienced this pain free “labor” in contractions that were so pain free it was a bit confusing and hard to believe. Sure, enough after the “show” and being confirmed to be then 4 cm dilated, I was ecstatic to realize that indeed this Grace of Supernatural Childbirth exist. Then again, I must say, from having experienced no pain from early that morning to early evening of the 5th of April. I started to experience pain. Unfortunately, at this point I can’t get into detail of how that happened.
Around 6:30pm my hubby thought it best to drive back home because he was convinced baby was coming the following day. Of course, I was against it, but allowed him to drive a 2hr drive back home after I had been confirmed to be 4cm dilated around 11 that morning. After getting home around 9pm I bathed, had supper and as soon as I put my head on the pillow we had to get back on the road. I remember around the Delmas area a police patrol car turned its lights on and indicated for us to stop the car. This was now after 12 midnight. One of the cops walked over to us. So I screamed at the cop “I am in labor” and peeping in the car and down my tummy, he waved at us almost pushing the car to move saying, go, go, go!!
Fast forward, now 1:30am, 6th April, Heather and Anina were there with us. They lit candles for me, got me comfortable. I must say I had asked God for peace and calmness and sure evidence of His presence in the room. And I got that and more. All of us were so much at peace it felt like it had just rained. The peace was almost tangible. God was there. I even told hubby to sleep on the bed and rest. I even covered him nicely with a blanket and waited for the coming of our boy. My music played at the background, I sang and worshiped as I paced in the room waiting for baby. Although at this stage I was having pain with the contractions, I could feel heaven hugging me. At one point Heather came to check up on me and suspected baby would come during the day later. At that moment, I declared that before daybreak my baby would have arrived.
I woke up hubby around past 3am to pray with me for baby to come faster we did. After an hour, I was ready to be in the birth tub. I got in and asked hubby to call my midwife. I must mention, although I was very calm and composed, she didn’t assume that I wasn’t ready or that baby was coming. God is faithful, the calmness of God was on us all. With Heather talking me through and telling me to work with my body, I was guided into delivering my baby. Never was I told to push, with her calm voice assuring me that I was doing a great job, my baby came with one go. This reminds me of my 5yr old daughter’s shocking prayer she had been making for me: that I would never have to push hard” Indeed God is amazing. My healthy 4kg baby arrived around 5am as calmly and as beautiful as the breaking of dawn. I was cleaned up and I got to hold my baby on his arrival for the first time. It was a beautiful feeling. Hubby cut the cord and he held the baby on his chest…I smiled… I shed tears of joy… I was ushered to the bed and attended to… I was asked to rest. Music was playing. I was worshiping. It was a Supernatural experience… I must add, after hours of rest…delicious breakfast was served – it was only the desire to see my babies excited to welcome their baby brother, that pushed us to drive home around 4pm that day. Otherwise, we wanted to stay.
To God be all the glory. Heather and all you amazing ladies at Midwives Exclusive, I thank God for you. You were part of my miracle